Showreel

Now for everybody out there that wanted to see what I do in filmmaking today I've made a small showreel that recaps some of the films and videos I've made since 2008.

Thank you all soo soo much for all your help, belief and sacrifice for these films to be made and screened in Romania and all over the world. Thank you my amazing romanian and german crews, thank you sooo soo much you amazing souls that you are dear dear actors, thank you beautiful reviewers, critics and viewers from all over the world that opened your souls and minds and feelings in front of these little films.
It was and it still is an amazing journey in film and I am the luckiest human to have met you and shared with you at least a small part of real and direct soul.
Thank you soo soo much to all.
And lets keep telling stories about our amazing sacred human experience.



Image is mirror, what we feel and see in it shows us more than the ones in the mirror.
Image/story is an intuitive language that can empathize with others outside ideas. Outside concepts, languages.

My films are about the difficult process that we need to undergo so that we can come back to life, or to understand it. Not to enjoy it, not to be happy, but just merely to experience it. Happiness has nothing to do with Truth, with direct touch of life.
So no Beauty. But as much truth and wake up moments as possible. As much angles feelings reactions and objects upon reality so that our all being can transcend it even for a very brief moment.

The reel contains pieces from the films
Interior Skies
No Man's Land
Returning
Silence Series
Meno
Sleep Awake 2012
Earth Eye
#Beings 2015

Obscur q&a with Doro

Doro Hohn asked me some questions about Obscur, for a better understanding of the script. And I will post them here for all those interested in a little bit more about the project.

1. Could you sum up (in a few sentences) what "obscur" is about? / can you name the topics of this project?
* I can not sum up what is about because it doesn't has a center theme. Or I try to not be conscious about, because I believe in the openness of the core of this kind of film.
Themes like belief in the breaking of ones past to changes the way one see things. Like the lack of consciousness and what can be in there. Like immortality and what effects that can have on a suicidal. Like spiritual duty. Like absolute desire.

3. Why do you want to tell this story?
This story is very important for me because it deals with one of my most fundamental fears and worries. With the mystery of what is behind consciousness. What is behind culture and order. How chaos works and why is all so beautifully crafted even without human control. Like in nature, like in space, like in weather. IN plants, in subatomic. Everywhere around us. There is no rule. No control. And everything is amazingly beautiful. And even whay this all seams 'beautiful' for us, people. What is this natural beauty and fascination.

4. Why do you think it is important to tell this story?
:P

5. What inspired you/ what questions did you ask yourself while writing the script?
I write very weird, because I somehow listen to what the characters tell me. Once I get them in myself they kinda speak to me. I just put them in the room, in his found room. In his open/closed room.
I started to write the script from a few older ideas of mine, the man that keeps on suicides without success to die. The girl that wants to meet her rapist after a long time to understand to reexperience her rape, because now is only a fantasy and it doesn't has anything real anymore. And Mare came about as Nuku's wife and the accident of his death. Of his uncontrolled experiments with death and undeath.

6. Why do you choose this (stylistic/symbolic) way to tell the story? Why not in a psychological way?
Psychology is based on the presumption that all can be solved in the mind. But I believe it only can be solved in experience. That is why we chose dramatic arts. Is wisdom and is exploration with experience not only phantoms of it, like painting, writing, sculpting. We do it. We need to move it, feel it. and get those feelings in the others. Is human for the human. As directly as possible.
Symbolism is for me a gate. Symbolism is an infinite way of opening the meaning. Meaning is so unique for all of us. Meaning, deep, emotional unconscious meaning is special for each one of us. So for me for me everything has to be opened up and metaphor and symbol are magical old tools to transcend concept.

7. What does this room (where they are in) stand for?
The room is dark. infinite darkness. darkness where all are one. and they are on the edge of it. ready to dissapear in it.
Darkness is the ultimate space, the space we enter in deep silence, in deep meditation, when we close our eyes. Is a darkness the has no sound, no time. no death or life.

8. What and who is Mare?
Mare is a woman that lost all her consciousness and her life force is moved entirely by her inner drives. By her animalic inside. She has no memory or learning except those of her genes. She can be seen as a demon, but for me demons don't exist, they are just very very desperate and disparate beings. The opposite of enlightened beings. No ego. But only desire.

9. What do these characters represent/ what do they stand for?
Well I have no idea what they represent. They only want to satisfy one of their existential desires. Mare to obey herself. Nuku to understand his immortality and through it help others. Lara to brake from her past, from her bad choices and fears.

10. You describe an explicit way of brutality. Why is it necessary for you? - which role plays (physical) brutality in this script and in your work in general?
Brutality if we look for its definition we will not find a good or bad definition. In a normal way is a forbidden practice. It supposes an opposition from one of the parts envolved.
For me is not brutality because both parts sees it as a necessity to brake through deep patterns of protection. Pain is a normal part of life. But because of our fear of pain we keep hidden inside so many traumas. I think that is how traumas are formed.

11. What picture of femininity do you want to create?
I want to bring in women the idea of independence. I find an education of total belonging in women which creates a manhood which in turn creates a femininity. And I don't like this system it created so much domination from man. I believe in individuality. Not sex. Our biological root should not create us as personalities only because of social pressure and customs. I believe in a pre-sexual nature of people. So for me women are men and men are women. Women have more sensitivity and historically are seen as symbol of purity and emotions.

12. There is darkness in this script - as it is in all of your films. Is this you way of seeing the world? Your way of expression?
Darkness is dangerous for many. But without a real reason. Darkness is infinite and peaceful. Darkness brings us close to our own inner beings. Is infinite and in it things become similar. Become one. Distinctions fade by there own.
Silence and peace is dark. It is not a place of hiding but a place of dissolving into.

13. Nudity plays a big role in your work? Why? What does it mean to you? Why do you want it that way?
Nudity is body. Is unobstructed body. Nudity puts the spectator to see himself without protection. It reminds him about his own body. His detached from or connected body. In nudity people perceive things in a more immediate way. We are closer to things. To emotions.
Body with its uniform color, with its so natural shape and movements gets us closer to a definition of purity. It is unified. There are no differences between lower and upper body, no coverings and out in the open.
I don't agree with things covered to show more, to be more sexy, to become erotic. I need the body as it is. Simple, natural, beautiful. Pure. It helps the mind to come closer to the body to direct perception of near world.

14. What kind of actors are you looking for? What do they need to transport and what do they have to deal with?
I am looking for actors that one time or another found out that fighting to become heroes, fighting to create an exquisite armor that everybody will love and appreciate, is not the way. But that only cutting through our layers deeper and deeper can help us and our spectator. That not falseness of beauty but sincerity and emotion can cleanse us from lies.
Actors that have inside them the courage or madness or dare to let go of themselves into the arms of the character and the story.

15. Why do you chose this way of showing sexuality? what do you mean with that? why do you want to show it? what lies underneath?
Sexuality is another form of emotion as anything else, a powerful complex and amazing kind of emotion which out of health issues was confined between two people and only for reproduction purposes if possible :) hundreds of years work in our minds soo soo good.
For me sexuality is an open world that, because of its taboo, is kept in darkness is kept being treated as a very low and cheap thing when in fact is so rich and amazing. Is one of the most fundamental experiences of our body. We have special organs for it. Sexuality is directly expressed between people. Why should it be so poorly represented and used only for male female sex. IN bed. It is silly.

16. What influences your work? Your style?
I am very inspired by religion. By direct contemplation of reality. I feel connected to the European style of portraying reality and the human nature. I love the Russian way of seeing the human into nature, as being growing from nature, from plants and trees.
I appreciate the structure of American commercial cinema although I create against it.
The Japanese cinema, Terayama, Teshigehara, Akio Jisoji.
The french new cinema du corp, Bruno Dumont, Philipe Grandriex, Garrel, the spiritual cinema of Kieslowsky, Tarkovsky, Bella Tarr, Haneke, the operatic madness of Zulawsky, the rawness mystical nature of Herzog and Trier.
The kindness and hope of Menzel, Mihalkov, Fellini, Visonti.
The political transgressive of Pasolini and Carax.
Directors that one way or another try to promote the tolerance of an inner personal way of looking at the world, a wider way, a open way, a difficult way. That normal people keep on refusing it.

17. What are you? An artist? a filmmaker a director?
Well I am nothing yet, all these things are emblems. And are part of what others tag you as be. And different people see you in a different light. I try to be a friend, a middleman between the world of the film and actors, and crew and spectators.

18. Why this kind of stories? Why in such a way? What do you want to achieve with your work?
Now in my work I just try to achieve a deep kind of sincerity. Something that becomes more and more amoral. More and more far beyond normal codes of society, because society is based on a lot of falsity and lie. So talking about sincerity of the mind, feeling, body, existence is transgressive. People constructed this world to protect themselves from enemies. From fear. And they payed with their soul.
We just remember them the existence of the soul.
We sacrifice everything for that.
My characters sacrifice their lives, and sometime they even lose their lives, only to find their soul back.

#Beings - poster

July 2015 facebook notes and thoughts

I just had a dejavu with Ana P about the necessity of objectivisation. And also about the dilema about why people vilified it.
Objectification is one of the original TMs of human race.

I used to talk alone. Now it got to be an online talking. A video talking. Sometimes through others but is still talking alone. Talking for the pleasure of the idea and the act itself of talking. Of uttering in a belived reality something of you inner most.
I still believe that we have two outsides one in reality and another in interiority.
I guess it is a circle somehow.

Civilisation is the product of OCD obsessions in people.
For the rest of us there is only freedom and existence.
Poverty, insecurity and lack of soap.

Sub orice critica,
that is the place I want to be.

We use soap in our desperate desire to become humans.
Our life project is to be recognized and legalized as humans.

I've never met a true artist.
I am living in fake and mediocre.
Is all I know, all I feel all that concerns me.

People can't believe in a religion with all their heart, can't respect a system of law and order, can't trust their own pleasures and fears, because all that they believe in is the all powerful deep and unconscious Gene - that is why in anthropology there is an oral unknown all powerful law, called the law of the land.
‪#‎Genes‬ are out most intimate guides and friends. They are our God and wisdom and truth. They are the only one we should trust.
Consciousness is too young in comparison. Is too wild and puerile. Gene's Way is the Tao.
Consciousness will never be able to rewrite the Genetic code. It can only Scramble it, a bit. All modifications end in Death.
Genes self protection. They order suicide when they feel a strange force conquering their perfection.
Genes never experiment, never try things, they are all knowing all controlling, all perfect.
These days consciousness is their main enemy. Our lives are all developing in the middle of this total war.
Genes vs Consciousness.
Old vs Young.
Known vs Unknown.

Please learn to tolerate the untolerant, otherwise your fight for tolerance is only a lie.

Sincerity is so difficult to reach it has become a sign of greatness.
For all the other good people is only the ‪#‎exercise‬ of rule, rigor, structure and empathy.

Cristi Puiu is lying, he should be at least honest about that. Alexandru Solomon or Lucia Hossu Longin are better at Cristi Puiu that Cristi Puiu himself.
Why does he do films?

Knowing is fast
Learning is slow
Understanding scares

Nature kills itself
We are part of nature
And we cant talk to her, there is no one there to understand why she does it.
It is in our nature - and these days our nature is wrong - and we dint know why.
Nature is a dieing suferind. All we can do is try and understand why.
Nature got suicidal. It invented humankind.

I am just a sign

Gay should remain underdog and marginal and the state should help them.
Please don't let even the Gay, the last freedom fighters, to become just another boring normal man/woman.
Without someone to fight for sexual freedom this world will collapse.
Fighting for LGBT rights is a pure cause, it should never end. It is better than religious fights or race or ethnic fights for tolerance and freedom.
Don't make Gay Bourgeois, they are fighters. The true revolutionaries.

My most successful activity is by far gay artistic erotica.

Normality is just a particular type of trance.

Never ask for nothing, do only with what you have, and always give give give.
Otherwise 'they' will eat your soul.

The solution to all is to disconnect
When i go home i disconnect
Is not to fight to acquire what you need to feed the comfy but to disconnect from the innitial pain
To find a way, a process, a ritual, a method to disconnect
Into...
Disconnection is not into less but doxocally is always into hing more, sonethu deeper.
I guess my main theme is Disconnection - first through death - then through light and divinity - linear a through music and special living - yka through becoming a different species - Obscur through repatterning - apologia looking for disconnection.

Poverty creates neurosis.
Because poverty can no longer provide meaning and life fulfilling experiences.
The art of living in poverty is long gone.
It is am extinct species. Killed by industrialization.
But knowing it once existed, we in our post-industrial age, try to revive it.

I believe in the divine spark of the illiterate.

Genes vs Consciousness

People can't believe in a religion with all their heart, can't respect a system of law and order, can't trust their own pleasures and fears, because all that they believe in is the all powerful deep and unconscious Gene - that is why in anthropology there is an oral unknown all powerful law, called the law of the land.

‪#‎Genes‬ are out most intimate guides and friends. They are our God and wisdom and truth. They are the only one we should trust.
Consciousness is too young in comparison. Is too wild and puerile. Gene's Way is the Tao.

Consciousness will never be able to rewrite the Genetic code. It can only Scramble it, a bit. All modifications end in Death.
Genes self protection. They order suicide when they feel a strange force conquering their perfection.

Genes never experiment, never try things, they are all knowing all controlling, all perfect.
These days consciousness is their main enemy. Our lives are all developing in the middle of this total war.

Genes vs Consciousness.
Old vs Young.
Known vs Unknown.

Doro about our #Beings experience on set and in the film

In November 2014 Andrei and I were working on #Beings together. I played Eva and here are some words about this experience:

I didn´t know Andrei and his work but I was very interested, when I first read about the idea of this movie.
On friday night, he sent me the script.
On Saturday I spent the day thinking about it - as there were a lot of aspects that made me face some of my biggest fears ...
Saturday night, I suddenly had the feeling that it was right to give it a try.
On Sunday we met for the first time.
On Monday I met the cast and crew.
On Tuesday we started filming.
For someone like me, this was more than quick.

Well, I like long preparations. I like safety - or always considered myself being someone that likes safety and is in love with clear structures (as boring as it may sound).
So doing this movie was an adventure to me. But during the whole process, it just felt right and I enjoyed this adventure very much.

The relationship between actor and director is a very fragile one and in my opinionl, if it doesn´t work, everything feels like fighting alone for a lost case. You lose connection to your character, your partner and the story because you are busy protecting and defending yourself.
So I appreciate Andrei´s natural talent of working with actors. He created an atmosphere of security and trust. By putting trust in me, I was able to take some risks and to cross some borders, I had built up for myself some time ago. I always felt safe, so I wanted to jump ...
There was always enough time to get in touch with your character, to try, to fail and to try again. I personally enjoy this kind of working the most because this makes me feel like part of the story, not like an accessory put in the right place. Andrei's way of filming and using the camera may be different, but to me it makes sense. We did a lot of intimate moments and I was able to forget about the camera very easily. It felt more like a partner than an observer.
As we only had a small team and almost no financial support - everyone was asked to put their energy and belief in this project. It was cold, it was dark, it was confusing and we got lost ... but I loved every second with you guys - in the car, on the road and in the forest, discovering lost buildings and hidden emotions.

I do believe in Andrei and his way of filmmaking. He is not afraid to ask questions and to discover and show what lies underneath common aesthetics. It would be great to find people to work with. People who support us and our ideas.
I´m looking forward to work with Andrei and this team again and I´m excited about what kind of adventure comes next!

Let´s rock -
Doro

Nature got Suicidal

Nature kills itself.
We are part of nature.
And we cant talk to her, there is no one there to understand why she does it.
It is in our nature - and these days our nature is wrong - and we dint know why.
Nature is a dieing suferind. All we can do is try and understand why.
Nature got suicidal. It invented humankind.

Kali Yuga?

We play on Incompatibility

I guess that one of the roots of it all is the natural incompatibility between people, coupled with their need to work, pleasure, survive together.
This is how and why all the beauty arises.
That is why all trouble rise.
We are all incompatible with each other [ie. the refusal of a foreign replacing organ] putting it all behind is our daily struggle, and making and being good is our second added weight. That is why so few do it.
That is why all the violence, all the meaningless, all the class and social unrest and abuse.
That is why our need to disconnect - through pleasure, luxury, success, pride, promiscuity, religion, drugs, entertainment, art and intellectual escapism, even scientific method.
Disconnection is our natural drive to reconnect to a state of purity. And that is often painful and fearful. And that is so often refused and deemed evil.

june facebook notes and thoughts

I write a lot of unmade projects.

de ce pornografia strica reputatia?
de ce orice activitate sexuala publica strica o reputatie?
ce este o reputatie de poate fi stricata astfel?
pe ce se construieste o reputatie? oare pe aceleasi false si comune pretentiozitati?
daca sint un mare pianist de concert, de ce nu pot sa apar intr-un film gay scat violent alegoric la lupta culturii impotriva violentei si vilificarii tandretei masculine?
reputatie - este un minunat titlu de film
impreuna cu titlul Ugly - la care ma tot gindesc astazi.
multumesc Cosmin pentru thought provocation

I still can't decide
To learn guitar and music
Or to explore it by myself
Append to tradition and good/best ways - append to their goals and values and forms
Or explore raw new unstable wrong ways?

Humanity is not the purpose of life.
But without humanity we couldn't miss the meaning of life.

Some art forms are not compatible with all cultures.
Those left outside globalization find difficult to understand and even cope with the new thinking, new feeling, new understanding of life.
Romania will never make it. We will remain eternal.
We live our live, our art is only about remembering spirit. Our tradition, our ancestry is not material, is only a very subtle feeling. A truth.
Romanians have the purest spirituality in the world. And you can understand it only in its absence.

un loc unde sa pot spune - veniti la mine

How many lives do you have?
How many lives do you want?

I will always be grateful to the human kind for the discovery and passage from generation to generation of Love.
Maybe few feel, but in any moment we can lose it. We can forget about it, and maybe there will be thousands and thousands of years without it.

I am good at being awkward.
I just don't yet understand what awkward is. Its isness. So I still fear it. And maybe that is why I do gay porn.

Don't let feelings boss you around.

I dont like the idea of sexy

Always look for good in people, help them do it, let them do it.
Never coerce people into doing things. Never buy people into doing things. Often it makes them harm.
It is your duty, everyone's duty to search and exploit each other's good.
Exploitation of the good in people not exploitation of the people.
I know it is always difficult to make the daily choice - should I sacrifice myself for another, or should I sacrifice another for myself.
I guess it is easier if you think about the good. The good in people. Even the most hidden one.

Is not only about strong emotions. Is about the most subtle as well.

How can you deal with that? Is the question to the wise. Is the mission of wisdom.

Truth is always dangerous.
Truth is always radical.
Everything else is good.

Facile and.... is the norm. Birth is a bad luck that happened to us and we only work to get through it as quickly and as painless as possible.

Feeling lonely among humans.

We are all such wimps. And if not wimps, then it means we are just woefully lame and small.

They invented Idealism only because Technicalities of making things always kill the soul and people became confused. Is there a soul? Why is everything so cluttered and muddy? Is there no soul?
So Idealism cleaned it all and said, yes there is the Soul, is just that all you do and are, dirty it, malformes it, and hides it. So you need to really really look for it to find it again.
Especially after 30 years old.

The curse of human race, to keep it all the time on the narrow, straight and middle. In the zero.

Obscur 3rd film's trilogy of Silence

Se pare ca Film Independent - Dormi Trezeste-Te si ‪#‎Vietati‬ fac parte dintr-o trilogie a Linistii, trilogie la care sper sa pot face si ‪#‎Obscur‬, un al treilea proiect care exploreaza intimitatea cu noi insine si relatia ei cu jurul, cu extremitatea, cu rolul nostru in lume.

It is a one hour long film called ‪#‎Obscur‬, a film about a chance meet between an immortal suicidal man and a paranoiac raped woman. Each one trying to use the other into fulfilling their existential, life-threading need to give meaning to an obligatory existence.
[ +18 ]
NUKU
Becoming an object is crazy, Mara tried to,
and became a demon.
Don’t try it Clara, please don’t
try it.

CLARA
Please...

may facebook notes and thoughts

There are so much more important problems than the problems of the ‪#‎soul‬
Should we ignore them, of ignore the soul? Well...
I guess we should ignore the thing that gives one, the least amount of pain and trouble.
I often wonder if I would care for these stupid issues, if in my teens I would discover some kind of popular talent.
I guess those that have nothing, remain with only their soul. Or become savage impotent angry animals.

A true ‪#‎cult‬ movie never promotes itself, its just left for dead until it putrefies and after one or two generations is found again, now purified of all contextuality.
A true cult film is found through wandering. Wandering on the way.
It all comes from the belief that is direct communication is not necessary, that only by putting thing into existence, through consciousness into the meta will spread and fly into the world and rain onto everyone.
ie: Tibetan prayers, Monastic Christianity, Theravada Buddhism, Taoism.
There are some things that need to be told in ‪#‎silence‬.

Cind ma gindesc ca peste 40 de ani nu o sa mai inteleg nimic din lume, si ca o sa ma raportez la zilele astea si la lumea asta de acum. Silly.

Cinema is drifting out of Cinema
I am getting further and further away from Cinema.
I am starting not to understand it more and more.

Am I feeling right?
Am I feeling correct?
Am I feeling real?
Am I feeling like the others do?
Am I feeling good?
Or what I feel is just weird and ...

Instead of art we can get a pet and a family, is much more easy and much more usefull. The insight is greater and at the end of life you are so much more accomplished.
Art is only for those few that dedicate their life to very organisational work and all else don't have the time to truly get into. So they request help from the artists.
For the rest entertainment is all they want, because the philosophy and soul, they already have in their homes. Entertainment helps them with a little extreme experience wink emoticon for their life is so beautiful and balanced and meaningfull.

People prefer to be Alone than be around the Wrong People - people around whom they have to hide, people that will turn against them if they would find out the truth.
Find your people. Or dream alone.

I never made my mother prowd. Making my mother prowd always felt weird and wrong. Maybe thats why I dont have any knowledge or understanding for the normal ways of things.

How is that all sexual related things emancipates us so much? Why does sexual exploration enlighten us so much? How come it makes us so much understanding and tolerant? What is sex? What is the mind frame, the emotional frame of sex?

Goodbye Reality welcome Humanity
Goodbye Humanity welcome Reality

I am just a medium. Sometimes a translator. Film.

Becoming better usually means hiding the dirt. And anything left alone in the dark becomes alienating and histerical.
Becoming better should be about understanding dirt. About education of ones own dirt into light.

In essence all you want to do is help all human kind in better living their lives.
All humanity, not a child, not a mother, not a friend or a food and comfort provider.

Why does the Mob gives you so much power, happiness and feeling of freedom and independenc?

Is good to help others because you forget about yourself. About your own regrets, defects and promises. Feels goood.

Why do people ask God for help? What is this God that can comfort even the heaviest disease even the most painful despair? Weird. Fascinating.

Why Fantasy and not Reality?
Because Fantasy is the Ruler. Because only with fantasy we have transformed a tree in lumber. Only due to our fantasy we could cut the tree off.
Reality doesn't exist.

Outside the Art World there is a very dangerous bloody jungle of human beings.
Creepy. Crippling feeling.
I guess that is why so many artists choose to play them and full them, and keep them in a suspended state until they can run away from there.
The Suspend of Disbelief theory.

Is not about becoming better, but the struggle about finding meaning in the ill faulty way we are [we have become][but perfect in our own eyes].
see the popularity of anger/frustration in the people vs the calm ones.
beware// new age is just another form of anger/frustration projection

When you realize for the first time, you have lost all connections with the mainstream, is an amazing feeling of awe and ecstatic dread.

Some try to become more real - some try to become more fake.

Normal People are on the verge of extinction.

What if...
there would be no fight anymore
no fight with the others
no fight with oneself
no fight with fears
no fight with desires
what if...
there would be only infinite reach of the soul
in one single infinite imaginary point of ‪#‎singularity‬

It hurts only for the contender to a Throne

the fake and frustration appears... because they want to sell.

Sometimes is better not to change. When the world keeps changing not for the better.
About my mother.

For me the Body it its most Open and essential form is the Sexual Body - the sexual fragility and defenceless. My question is how do we are, how can we 'be, what can we 'be' in that kind of Sexual World. Why Society build itself over it. Why did it hide on it? Is our Evilness and Diseased kind of beings so powerful? So overwhelming that we are not able to extend to create our Purity?

Inside intimacy there is no place to hide.
No place to turn your back.
No place to step back.

Is there something that you wouldn’t do with yourself?
That you wouldn’t let to be done onto you?
What is it that keeps you blocked?
Why?

I can't change the human nature.
I can't even create a small space of fictional changed HN.
I've hit some basalt.

truth is traveling only through silence
fear is my sixth sense
sublimation
I've forgot how I feel myself
death is the center of life
all chaos is organic
heaven is but an empty room

Are we humans? I hope not.

Towards Tolerance was always Intolerance

I always loved Abberation.

...but for something bigger than us - we are as unconscious as an apple

If you do it for the money, you make me make it for money.

The slow and the silent die.
The loud and the fast live.

LIFE is BEAUTIFUL, my films are not

LIFE is BEAUTIFUL
LIFE is filled with BEAUTY and LOVE

Is only the humans, with their inner and inter human relationships that make it Ugly and Terrifying. And I wondered why? I always wondered why is that?
And I got some answers: because of our self made fears, because the way we learn about life, because of our wrong inner construction, because of the Social/Political organisation of our Human/Class life, because of our Perceptive-Meaning-Thinking melange.
And so my films and art are about this, about the difficult process that we need to undergo so that we can come back to life, or to understand it. Not to enjoy it, not to be happy, but just merely to experience it. Happiness has nothing to do with Truth, with direct touch of life.
So no Beauty.
Beauty is a Formal Trap. Because all Beauty falls under the Values and Mores of Commercial Consumerism.
Beauty is like gold, like gambling, like porn, like drugs, easy to do, and hugely in demand. No questions asked. Beauty for Consume.
And I don't want people Blindly indulging in their drives. Never getting to ask themselves why. Not caring about the seller's reasons. Not caring about the sellers reason to sell.
Consuming Mind and Soul Numbing Beauty and Love is Fake. Is Toxic.
Living in Beauty and Love is not beautiful, is tough and challenging and filled with suffering and sacrifice.
I dancing Ballet, is playing the Violin - not listening to it, not looking at a dancer.
I try to make films that give the spectators the experience of playing the Violin, filled with fear, joy and exploration, with not knowing if is good or bad, with not knowing that your best is meaningful in anyway - not the one of listening Idly the song. Not enjoyment. But awe and magic.

I believe that Life is Amazing and Beautiful and Magic but we as conscious humans have so many problems to cross in order to connect somehow to it. Even if we feel good inside, praised and accomplished or regretful and weak.
Good an powerful is never the proof of Truth. Is just the proof of human fallacies and bias.

april facebook notes and thoughts

There is a new world out there and it needs new stories.
It needs a new, origin, raw, organic, mythology.

There would be no Paul Klee if we all would strive to speak to each other in the same language. There would be no new ways, no new emotions, no perspectiva on our own world.
We are in a continuous search for a better perspective, a wider view upon our immense complex inner/outher processual being.

We live in a constant state of mild addiction. There is no rationality.

When I write I disconnect from all is life.

The refinement process has 90% waste.

We follow those that do their thing with love.
No matter what they do.
Is a human weakness.
Is a human bias.
Those that find the way to do it with a lot of love.
No matter what, evil, trash, noise, ugliness, violence, hopelessness, lies, beauty, meaning, truth.
We are suckers for love.
For love and sugar.

Facebookul m-a ajutat enorm sa fac film, primele doua filme exista din cauza ca pe facebook am intilnit oamenii minunati care au crezut in proiectele Meno si DT, apoi tot cu facbookul am reusit sa gasesc oameni superbi in Berlin pentru Beings, tot prin facebook am gasit spatii superbe si chiar legatura cu Cinemateca Union pentru proiectii.
Fara Facebook nu as fi facut nimic. Si nu as face nimic.
Thanks.

Cu moartea pe moarte călcând.
Singurul lucru extraordinar este ca Iisus se duce în Iad sa facă acolo lumina.

E bătaie pe scaunul din colt.

There is always a relationship with the Self. We are never the self. There is always a relationship with all that we think we are, all that we feel, all that we want and fear. We are not one, but a great great network of inner ‪#‎beings‬. Nothing in itself.
There is never an absolute identification. tongue emoticon
There is always a relation with you deepest art and ideas.
That is why there is no truth, because there is only a relationship with the truth.
And a relationship is everytime dynamic and always changing and without identification, without definition.
Because there is no definition only a relation with a definition.
One exists only through its relations. More relations, more resolution.
Zero is one.
We are a picture, not a line. not a dot. But a multi layered painting.

I found myself more and more that I am mainly interested in ‪#‎sacred‬ art, in what gods do, in how gods are. And I begin to believe that gods are somehow our essence on which has grown the thick bush of this permanent dialogue with nature, with people, with the world.
And sometimes that essence is forgotten.
Maybe that is why Butoh, that is why porn, that is why nakedness, simplicity, sincerity, magic, documentary, non-styling, raw, chaotic, non-temporal, meta-realistic and whatever weird things I feel so necessary to be told.
It is not porn it is an essential, emotional way, a holistic way to show the root.
And about the darkness I think is about the thing that essence is somewhere hidden in darkness. So in darkness is always light. Is about the faint light in darkness. There is never complete darkness. Is all about the little light in the darkness.

And I am so afraid of telling people this. I prefer to let them think I am a dangerous suspicious pervert. Is much safer.

Why are Gods always represented naked?

We play on the natural ‪#‎incompatibility‬ between people.

Our intimacy is mainly linguistic.

I believe in the divine spark of the illiterate.

A lot of people ask from Art to give them beautiful things.
To help them find new beautiful things to feed their need for estetic enjoyment. Beauty is a kind of uncoscious assertion of new hope.
Well contemporary art tries to avoid Beauty because Art asks from the spectator to open his soul and mind and wake up. There is no necesity for hope. There is no necesity for
There the necesity to take hold of your own life. ANd stop living through other’s exprience. Art these days has a so different dialogue with spectators. There is no more a pasive realtionship. It is a dialogue. It requires you to think feel adapt, react in every moment.
The time of Beautiful Ailment is gone.
The time of enjoyment is gone.
Today Art is an instrument to dig deeper. To work more efficient in the exploration of Life and Human.

nu este vorba despre ‪#‎decency‬, ci despre ‪#‎dignity‬.
nu le confundati, nu le inlocuiti unul cu altul.
de prea multe ori oamenii cauta sa isi cistige decenta, crezind ca va ridica in ei si demnitatea.
mare mare capcana.
and ‪#‎they‬ know it.

Beware!!!
Happiness burns.

Humanity is more important than life itself.
Is so easy to end poverty, but so endless difficult to show even to the highest of the people their own innate humanity.

Dehumanization take on two forms: animalistic dehumanization, which is employed on a largely intergroup basis, and mechanistic dehumanization, which is employed on a largely interpersonal basis.

it is about the idea that a being has an innate right to be valued, respected, and to receive ethical treatment…

I will always be grateful to the human kind for the discovery and passage from generation to generation of Love.
Maybe few feel, but in any moment we can lose it. We can forget about it, and maybe there will be thousands and thousands of years without it.

Is not about showing (enjoying) a great inspirational pianist.
But about showing the pain and trouble of becoming an inspirational pianist.

Have you ever felt that you have all the world inside of yourself? That it pours out in every word in every feeling in every gesture.
A small crossing between worlds.
From nowhere…
… into thingness.

I do not want to fight in the losing battle of making people see.
I myself couldn’t see for a long time.
This is not a revelation, is a long long training.
A training into uncertainty and the unknown.
A training of fearless abandonment.
Of opening up in front of death.
This is an extreme sport.
An extreme sport without any movement.
Is not about the body, is all about the soul.
Is not about Identity and Prestige, is all about the soul.
It hurts only for the contender to a Throne.

All my films are and will be of the ‪#‎fantasy‬ genre. Not medieval or extraterrestrial but contemporary and realistic. Is this maybe magic realism?

A mystic exploration into the fabric of reality.

How could you be truly happy and free without first murdering the one you were?

How can you understand life without meeting death. Without seeing life from outside it?

How can you begin to understand humans without firstly contesting all that you are beyond your sense of self?

All we look for is just ailment?
Are we so sick?

If nobody or nothing threatens our lives we should do it ourselves. There is so much wisdom hidden in dread.

Looking for beauty in undesirable places.

Inside intimacy there is no place to hide.
No place to turn your back.
No place to step back.

I am not interested in Social Issues. All issues that become Social are due to deep Ignorance and malformed Egos.
I am interested in spiritual and individual Issues.
I am interested in roots, essences and origins.
I think Mircea Eliade has a book about our insatiable need to forge our way back to Origins.
Pass the point zero in time.

I do dirty movies

I always thought myself somewhere between cinema and photography and painting. Somewhere between fiction and reality. Somewhere between real and emotional physics. Between Rational and Social logic. Somewhere between Western, Middle and Eastern cultures. Somewhere between Art and Entertainment. Between Weirdo and Normal. Between Life and Death.
And I thought I will be recognized as being all, but now I know better.
Everybody said – you are not one of us.
And they are so right because all this time I only said –
I am not one of you.

Sacred

I found myself more and more that I am mainly interested in ‪#‎sacred‬ art, in what gods do, in how gods are. And I begin to believe that gods are somehow our essence on which has grown the thick bush of this permanent dialogue with nature, with people, with the world.
And sometimes that essence is forgotten.
Maybe that is why Butoh, that is why porn, that is why nakedness, simplicity, sincerity, magic, documentary, non-styling, raw, chaotic, non-temporal, meta-realistic and whatever weird things I feel so necessary to be told.
It is not porn it is an essential, emotional way, a holistic way to show the root.
And about the darkness I think is about the thing that essence is somewhere hidden in darkness. So in darkness is always light. Is about the faint light in darkness. There is never complete darkness. Is all about the little light in the darkness.

Beings review on cinemateca.eu

The amazing beautiful soul called Trisk wrote a review of our film:
[Romanian only]

Interviu cu Paul Stefanescu despre ‪#‎Beings‬:

Cinemateca: Cum se leaga ideea de dumnezeu cu cea de trup, fie el uman sau nu?

Paul Stefanescu: Incerc sa folosesc Dumnezeul ca trup si trupul ca Dumnezeu. Cred ca sintem prinsi intr-o obligatie fata de trup. Si social, o obligatie fata de un soi de divinitate. Deci completely trapped both ways.

Intregul articol, la link:

http://www.cinemateca.eu/2015/03/beings-un-short-contemplativ-apasator.html

Fighting for a lost cause [Obscur]

Fighting for a lost cause.
Fundraising for a new underground film project  OBSCUR

Hei, we look for support to pay out actors in a new film project called OBSCUR
an underground film project.

And that being said, we look for an actress to play Mare a 20s girl that is now possessed, is kind of performance based role, where her body represent all that is left raw and unhuman after giving her life to her unborn children. A role with nudity, simulated sex and violence.
We will PAY for this role, as it is the most difficult one.
In Berlin or Bucharest

Follow the link bellow if you want to help us make more films.

#Beings 2015 - indie full movie eng subs

 Beings is the second feature film of Stefanescu Andrei, after Sleep Awake in 2012, is also a no-budget film, this time shot in Berlin with a small magical crew in the autumn of 2014.
It is a contemplative film about Eva a girl that leaves everything behind, a deep friendship with her friend Anna and her betrayed love for Teo, to lose herself into light. To get away from her skin and become perfect so that she will be loved by Teo.
The story begins with Eva having a epileptic fit and being kicked out by Teo instead of being helped. This starts the crisis of Eva and her desperate return to Teo and then the failed night of love. Everything brakes loose. Not only her, but also Teo who out of guilt begins his descent into madness together with Anna, Eva's best friend that also loves Teo irrational and against any moral or law.
Eva's trip has no goal but in her journey each step is like a magic moment like a step outside reality until she becomes one with the sky forgetting everything she is and starting new.
Eva runs away from everyone but faith makes it so that Ana finds her again on the streets. They are taken by a driver that wants to help them not to the hospital but, at the desire of Eva, into an industrial nothingness from where Eva gets lost. From where Anna renounces to get her back. Where the only one that doesn't quit but also doesn't impose himself to Eva is the driver.
But the sun is setting.