june facebook notes and thoughts

I write a lot of unmade projects.

de ce pornografia strica reputatia?
de ce orice activitate sexuala publica strica o reputatie?
ce este o reputatie de poate fi stricata astfel?
pe ce se construieste o reputatie? oare pe aceleasi false si comune pretentiozitati?
daca sint un mare pianist de concert, de ce nu pot sa apar intr-un film gay scat violent alegoric la lupta culturii impotriva violentei si vilificarii tandretei masculine?
reputatie - este un minunat titlu de film
impreuna cu titlul Ugly - la care ma tot gindesc astazi.
multumesc Cosmin pentru thought provocation

I still can't decide
To learn guitar and music
Or to explore it by myself
Append to tradition and good/best ways - append to their goals and values and forms
Or explore raw new unstable wrong ways?

Humanity is not the purpose of life.
But without humanity we couldn't miss the meaning of life.

Some art forms are not compatible with all cultures.
Those left outside globalization find difficult to understand and even cope with the new thinking, new feeling, new understanding of life.
Romania will never make it. We will remain eternal.
We live our live, our art is only about remembering spirit. Our tradition, our ancestry is not material, is only a very subtle feeling. A truth.
Romanians have the purest spirituality in the world. And you can understand it only in its absence.

un loc unde sa pot spune - veniti la mine

How many lives do you have?
How many lives do you want?

I will always be grateful to the human kind for the discovery and passage from generation to generation of Love.
Maybe few feel, but in any moment we can lose it. We can forget about it, and maybe there will be thousands and thousands of years without it.

I am good at being awkward.
I just don't yet understand what awkward is. Its isness. So I still fear it. And maybe that is why I do gay porn.

Don't let feelings boss you around.

I dont like the idea of sexy

Always look for good in people, help them do it, let them do it.
Never coerce people into doing things. Never buy people into doing things. Often it makes them harm.
It is your duty, everyone's duty to search and exploit each other's good.
Exploitation of the good in people not exploitation of the people.
I know it is always difficult to make the daily choice - should I sacrifice myself for another, or should I sacrifice another for myself.
I guess it is easier if you think about the good. The good in people. Even the most hidden one.

Is not only about strong emotions. Is about the most subtle as well.

How can you deal with that? Is the question to the wise. Is the mission of wisdom.

Truth is always dangerous.
Truth is always radical.
Everything else is good.

Facile and.... is the norm. Birth is a bad luck that happened to us and we only work to get through it as quickly and as painless as possible.

Feeling lonely among humans.

We are all such wimps. And if not wimps, then it means we are just woefully lame and small.

They invented Idealism only because Technicalities of making things always kill the soul and people became confused. Is there a soul? Why is everything so cluttered and muddy? Is there no soul?
So Idealism cleaned it all and said, yes there is the Soul, is just that all you do and are, dirty it, malformes it, and hides it. So you need to really really look for it to find it again.
Especially after 30 years old.

The curse of human race, to keep it all the time on the narrow, straight and middle. In the zero.

Obscur 3rd film's trilogy of Silence

obscur casting copy

Se pare ca Film Independent - Dormi Trezeste-Te si ‪#‎Vietati‬ fac parte dintr-o trilogie a Linistii, trilogie la care sper sa pot face si ‪#‎Obscur‬, un al treilea proiect care exploreaza intimitatea cu noi insine si relatia ei cu jurul, cu extremitatea, cu rolul nostru in lume.

It is a one hour long film called ‪#‎Obscur‬, a film about a chance meet between an immortal suicidal man and a paranoiac raped woman. Each one trying to use the other into fulfilling their existential, life-threading need to give meaning to an obligatory existence.
[ +18 ]
NUKU
Becoming an object is crazy, Mara tried to,
and became a demon.
Don’t try it Clara, please don’t
try it.

CLARA
Please...

may facebook notes and thoughts

There are so much more important problems than the problems of the ‪#‎soul‬
Should we ignore them, of ignore the soul? Well...
I guess we should ignore the thing that gives one, the least amount of pain and trouble.
I often wonder if I would care for these stupid issues, if in my teens I would discover some kind of popular talent.
I guess those that have nothing, remain with only their soul. Or become savage impotent angry animals.

A true ‪#‎cult‬ movie never promotes itself, its just left for dead until it putrefies and after one or two generations is found again, now purified of all contextuality.
A true cult film is found through wandering. Wandering on the way.
It all comes from the belief that is direct communication is not necessary, that only by putting thing into existence, through consciousness into the meta will spread and fly into the world and rain onto everyone.
ie: Tibetan prayers, Monastic Christianity, Theravada Buddhism, Taoism.
There are some things that need to be told in ‪#‎silence‬.

Cind ma gindesc ca peste 40 de ani nu o sa mai inteleg nimic din lume, si ca o sa ma raportez la zilele astea si la lumea asta de acum. Silly.

Cinema is drifting out of Cinema
I am getting further and further away from Cinema.
I am starting not to understand it more and more.

Am I feeling right?
Am I feeling correct?
Am I feeling real?
Am I feeling like the others do?
Am I feeling good?
Or what I feel is just weird and ...

Instead of art we can get a pet and a family, is much more easy and much more usefull. The insight is greater and at the end of life you are so much more accomplished.
Art is only for those few that dedicate their life to very organisational work and all else don't have the time to truly get into. So they request help from the artists.
For the rest entertainment is all they want, because the philosophy and soul, they already have in their homes. Entertainment helps them with a little extreme experience wink emoticon for their life is so beautiful and balanced and meaningfull.

People prefer to be Alone than be around the Wrong People - people around whom they have to hide, people that will turn against them if they would find out the truth.
Find your people. Or dream alone.

I never made my mother prowd. Making my mother prowd always felt weird and wrong. Maybe thats why I dont have any knowledge or understanding for the normal ways of things.

How is that all sexual related things emancipates us so much? Why does sexual exploration enlighten us so much? How come it makes us so much understanding and tolerant? What is sex? What is the mind frame, the emotional frame of sex?

Goodbye Reality welcome Humanity
Goodbye Humanity welcome Reality

I am just a medium. Sometimes a translator. Film.

Becoming better usually means hiding the dirt. And anything left alone in the dark becomes alienating and histerical.
Becoming better should be about understanding dirt. About education of ones own dirt into light.

In essence all you want to do is help all human kind in better living their lives.
All humanity, not a child, not a mother, not a friend or a food and comfort provider.

Why does the Mob gives you so much power, happiness and feeling of freedom and independenc?

Is good to help others because you forget about yourself. About your own regrets, defects and promises. Feels goood.

Why do people ask God for help? What is this God that can comfort even the heaviest disease even the most painful despair? Weird. Fascinating.

Why Fantasy and not Reality?
Because Fantasy is the Ruler. Because only with fantasy we have transformed a tree in lumber. Only due to our fantasy we could cut the tree off.
Reality doesn't exist.

Outside the Art World there is a very dangerous bloody jungle of human beings.
Creepy. Crippling feeling.
I guess that is why so many artists choose to play them and full them, and keep them in a suspended state until they can run away from there.
The Suspend of Disbelief theory.

Is not about becoming better, but the struggle about finding meaning in the ill faulty way we are [we have become][but perfect in our own eyes].
see the popularity of anger/frustration in the people vs the calm ones.
beware// new age is just another form of anger/frustration projection

When you realize for the first time, you have lost all connections with the mainstream, is an amazing feeling of awe and ecstatic dread.

Some try to become more real - some try to become more fake.

Normal People are on the verge of extinction.

What if...
there would be no fight anymore
no fight with the others
no fight with oneself
no fight with fears
no fight with desires
what if...
there would be only infinite reach of the soul
in one single infinite imaginary point of ‪#‎singularity‬

It hurts only for the contender to a Throne

the fake and frustration appears... because they want to sell.

Sometimes is better not to change. When the world keeps changing not for the better.
About my mother.

For me the Body it its most Open and essential form is the Sexual Body - the sexual fragility and defenceless. My question is how do we are, how can we 'be, what can we 'be' in that kind of Sexual World. Why Society build itself over it. Why did it hide on it? Is our Evilness and Diseased kind of beings so powerful? So overwhelming that we are not able to extend to create our Purity?

Inside intimacy there is no place to hide.
No place to turn your back.
No place to step back.

Is there something that you wouldn’t do with yourself?
That you wouldn’t let to be done onto you?
What is it that keeps you blocked?
Why?

I can't change the human nature.
I can't even create a small space of fictional changed HN.
I've hit some basalt.

truth is traveling only through silence
fear is my sixth sense
sublimation
I've forgot how I feel myself
death is the center of life
all chaos is organic
heaven is but an empty room

Are we humans? I hope not.

Towards Tolerance was always Intolerance

I always loved Abberation.

...but for something bigger than us - we are as unconscious as an apple

If you do it for the money, you make me make it for money.

The slow and the silent die.
The loud and the fast live.

LIFE is BEAUTIFUL, my films are not

5815060811_d1c42dcbb6_b

LIFE is BEAUTIFUL
LIFE is filled with BEAUTY and LOVE

Is only the humans, with their inner and inter human relationships that make it Ugly and Terrifying. And I wondered why? I always wondered why is that?
And I got some answers: because of our self made fears, because the way we learn about life, because of our wrong inner construction, because of the Social/Political organisation of our Human/Class life, because of our Perceptive-Meaning-Thinking melange.
And so my films and art are about this, about the difficult process that we need to undergo so that we can come back to life, or to understand it. Not to enjoy it, not to be happy, but just merely to experience it. Happiness has nothing to do with Truth, with direct touch of life.
So no Beauty.
Beauty is a Formal Trap. Because all Beauty falls under the Values and Mores of Commercial Consumerism.
Beauty is like gold, like gambling, like porn, like drugs, easy to do, and hugely in demand. No questions asked. Beauty for Consume.
And I don't want people Blindly indulging in their drives. Never getting to ask themselves why. Not caring about the seller's reasons. Not caring about the sellers reason to sell.
Consuming Mind and Soul Numbing Beauty and Love is Fake. Is Toxic.
Living in Beauty and Love is not beautiful, is tough and challenging and filled with suffering and sacrifice.
I dancing Ballet, is playing the Violin - not listening to it, not looking at a dancer.
I try to make films that give the spectators the experience of playing the Violin, filled with fear, joy and exploration, with not knowing if is good or bad, with not knowing that your best is meaningful in anyway - not the one of listening Idly the song. Not enjoyment. But awe and magic.

I believe that Life is Amazing and Beautiful and Magic but we as conscious humans have so many problems to cross in order to connect somehow to it. Even if we feel good inside, praised and accomplished or regretful and weak.
Good an powerful is never the proof of Truth. Is just the proof of human fallacies and bias.

april facebook notes and thoughts

There is a new world out there and it needs new stories.
It needs a new, origin, raw, organic, mythology.

There would be no Paul Klee if we all would strive to speak to each other in the same language. There would be no new ways, no new emotions, no perspectiva on our own world.
We are in a continuous search for a better perspective, a wider view upon our immense complex inner/outher processual being.

We live in a constant state of mild addiction. There is no rationality.

When I write I disconnect from all is life.

The refinement process has 90% waste.

We follow those that do their thing with love.
No matter what they do.
Is a human weakness.
Is a human bias.
Those that find the way to do it with a lot of love.
No matter what, evil, trash, noise, ugliness, violence, hopelessness, lies, beauty, meaning, truth.
We are suckers for love.
For love and sugar.

Facebookul m-a ajutat enorm sa fac film, primele doua filme exista din cauza ca pe facebook am intilnit oamenii minunati care au crezut in proiectele Meno si DT, apoi tot cu facbookul am reusit sa gasesc oameni superbi in Berlin pentru Beings, tot prin facebook am gasit spatii superbe si chiar legatura cu Cinemateca Union pentru proiectii.
Fara Facebook nu as fi facut nimic. Si nu as face nimic.
Thanks.

Cu moartea pe moarte călcând.
Singurul lucru extraordinar este ca Iisus se duce în Iad sa facă acolo lumina.

E bătaie pe scaunul din colt.

There is always a relationship with the Self. We are never the self. There is always a relationship with all that we think we are, all that we feel, all that we want and fear. We are not one, but a great great network of inner ‪#‎beings‬. Nothing in itself.
There is never an absolute identification. tongue emoticon
There is always a relation with you deepest art and ideas.
That is why there is no truth, because there is only a relationship with the truth.
And a relationship is everytime dynamic and always changing and without identification, without definition.
Because there is no definition only a relation with a definition.
One exists only through its relations. More relations, more resolution.
Zero is one.
We are a picture, not a line. not a dot. But a multi layered painting.

I found myself more and more that I am mainly interested in ‪#‎sacred‬ art, in what gods do, in how gods are. And I begin to believe that gods are somehow our essence on which has grown the thick bush of this permanent dialogue with nature, with people, with the world.
And sometimes that essence is forgotten.
Maybe that is why Butoh, that is why porn, that is why nakedness, simplicity, sincerity, magic, documentary, non-styling, raw, chaotic, non-temporal, meta-realistic and whatever weird things I feel so necessary to be told.
It is not porn it is an essential, emotional way, a holistic way to show the root.
And about the darkness I think is about the thing that essence is somewhere hidden in darkness. So in darkness is always light. Is about the faint light in darkness. There is never complete darkness. Is all about the little light in the darkness.

And I am so afraid of telling people this. I prefer to let them think I am a dangerous suspicious pervert. Is much safer.

Why are Gods always represented naked?

We play on the natural ‪#‎incompatibility‬ between people.

Our intimacy is mainly linguistic.

I believe in the divine spark of the illiterate.

A lot of people ask from Art to give them beautiful things.
To help them find new beautiful things to feed their need for estetic enjoyment. Beauty is a kind of uncoscious assertion of new hope.
Well contemporary art tries to avoid Beauty because Art asks from the spectator to open his soul and mind and wake up. There is no necesity for hope. There is no necesity for
There the necesity to take hold of your own life. ANd stop living through other’s exprience. Art these days has a so different dialogue with spectators. There is no more a pasive realtionship. It is a dialogue. It requires you to think feel adapt, react in every moment.
The time of Beautiful Ailment is gone.
The time of enjoyment is gone.
Today Art is an instrument to dig deeper. To work more efficient in the exploration of Life and Human.

nu este vorba despre ‪#‎decency‬, ci despre ‪#‎dignity‬.
nu le confundati, nu le inlocuiti unul cu altul.
de prea multe ori oamenii cauta sa isi cistige decenta, crezind ca va ridica in ei si demnitatea.
mare mare capcana.
and ‪#‎they‬ know it.

Beware!!!
Happiness burns.

Humanity is more important than life itself.
Is so easy to end poverty, but so endless difficult to show even to the highest of the people their own innate humanity.

Dehumanization take on two forms: animalistic dehumanization, which is employed on a largely intergroup basis, and mechanistic dehumanization, which is employed on a largely interpersonal basis.

it is about the idea that a being has an innate right to be valued, respected, and to receive ethical treatment…

I will always be grateful to the human kind for the discovery and passage from generation to generation of Love.
Maybe few feel, but in any moment we can lose it. We can forget about it, and maybe there will be thousands and thousands of years without it.

Is not about showing (enjoying) a great inspirational pianist.
But about showing the pain and trouble of becoming an inspirational pianist.

Have you ever felt that you have all the world inside of yourself? That it pours out in every word in every feeling in every gesture.
A small crossing between worlds.
From nowhere…
… into thingness.

I do not want to fight in the losing battle of making people see.
I myself couldn’t see for a long time.
This is not a revelation, is a long long training.
A training into uncertainty and the unknown.
A training of fearless abandonment.
Of opening up in front of death.
This is an extreme sport.
An extreme sport without any movement.
Is not about the body, is all about the soul.
Is not about Identity and Prestige, is all about the soul.
It hurts only for the contender to a Throne.

All my films are and will be of the ‪#‎fantasy‬ genre. Not medieval or extraterrestrial but contemporary and realistic. Is this maybe magic realism?

A mystic exploration into the fabric of reality.

How could you be truly happy and free without first murdering the one you were?

How can you understand life without meeting death. Without seeing life from outside it?

How can you begin to understand humans without firstly contesting all that you are beyond your sense of self?

All we look for is just ailment?
Are we so sick?

If nobody or nothing threatens our lives we should do it ourselves. There is so much wisdom hidden in dread.

Looking for beauty in undesirable places.

Inside intimacy there is no place to hide.
No place to turn your back.
No place to step back.

I am not interested in Social Issues. All issues that become Social are due to deep Ignorance and malformed Egos.
I am interested in spiritual and individual Issues.
I am interested in roots, essences and origins.
I think Mircea Eliade has a book about our insatiable need to forge our way back to Origins.
Pass the point zero in time.

I do dirty movies

I always thought myself somewhere between cinema and photography and painting. Somewhere between fiction and reality. Somewhere between real and emotional physics. Between Rational and Social logic. Somewhere between Western, Middle and Eastern cultures. Somewhere between Art and Entertainment. Between Weirdo and Normal. Between Life and Death.
And I thought I will be recognized as being all, but now I know better.
Everybody said – you are not one of us.
And they are so right because all this time I only said –
I am not one of you.

Sacred

I found myself more and more that I am mainly interested in ‪#‎sacred‬ art, in what gods do, in how gods are. And I begin to believe that gods are somehow our essence on which has grown the thick bush of this permanent dialogue with nature, with people, with the world.
And sometimes that essence is forgotten.
Maybe that is why Butoh, that is why porn, that is why nakedness, simplicity, sincerity, magic, documentary, non-styling, raw, chaotic, non-temporal, meta-realistic and whatever weird things I feel so necessary to be told.
It is not porn it is an essential, emotional way, a holistic way to show the root.
And about the darkness I think is about the thing that essence is somewhere hidden in darkness. So in darkness is always light. Is about the faint light in darkness. There is never complete darkness. Is all about the little light in the darkness.

Beings review on cinemateca.eu

The amazing beautiful soul called Trisk wrote a review of our film:
[Romanian only]

Interviu cu Paul Stefanescu despre ‪#‎Beings‬:

Cinemateca: Cum se leaga ideea de dumnezeu cu cea de trup, fie el uman sau nu?

Paul Stefanescu: Incerc sa folosesc Dumnezeul ca trup si trupul ca Dumnezeu. Cred ca sintem prinsi intr-o obligatie fata de trup. Si social, o obligatie fata de un soi de divinitate. Deci completely trapped both ways.

Intregul articol, la link:

http://www.cinemateca.eu/2015/03/beings-un-short-contemplativ-apasator.html

Fighting for a lost cause [Obscur]

Fighting for a lost cause.
Fundraising for a new underground film project  OBSCUR

Hei, we look for support to pay out actors in a new film project called OBSCUR
an underground film project.

And that being said, we look for an actress to play Mare a 20s girl that is now possessed, is kind of performance based role, where her body represent all that is left raw and unhuman after giving her life to her unborn children. A role with nudity, simulated sex and violence.
We will PAY for this role, as it is the most difficult one.
In Berlin or Bucharest

Follow the link bellow if you want to help us make more films.

#Beings 2015 - indie full movie eng subs

 Beings is the second feature film of Stefanescu Andrei, after Sleep Awake in 2012, is also a no-budget film, this time shot in Berlin with a small magical crew in the autumn of 2014.
It is a contemplative film about Eva a girl that leaves everything behind, a deep friendship with her friend Anna and her betrayed love for Teo, to lose herself into light. To get away from her skin and become perfect so that she will be loved by Teo.
The story begins with Eva having a epileptic fit and being kicked out by Teo instead of being helped. This starts the crisis of Eva and her desperate return to Teo and then the failed night of love. Everything brakes loose. Not only her, but also Teo who out of guilt begins his descent into madness together with Anna, Eva's best friend that also loves Teo irrational and against any moral or law.
Eva's trip has no goal but in her journey each step is like a magic moment like a step outside reality until she becomes one with the sky forgetting everything she is and starting new.
Eva runs away from everyone but faith makes it so that Ana finds her again on the streets. They are taken by a driver that wants to help them not to the hospital but, at the desire of Eva, into an industrial nothingness from where Eva gets lost. From where Anna renounces to get her back. Where the only one that doesn't quit but also doesn't impose himself to Eva is the driver.
But the sun is setting.



#Beings - trailer 2



Between

I always thought myself somewhere between cinema and photography and painting. Somewhere between fiction and reality. Somewhere between real and emotional physics. Between Rational and Social logic. Somewhere between Western, Middle and Eastern cultures. Somewhere between Art and Entertainment. Between Weirdo and Normal. Between Life and Death.
And I thought I will be recognized as being all, but now I know better.
Everybody said - you are not one of us. 
And they are so right because all this time I only said -
I am not one of you.

Art vs Art

People want Art to comfort and ease their fear of loneliness and meaningless fail at life.
That is why we have Culture.

And there is another thing, unfortunately also called #Art that wants People to confront their innate nature and brake free from Death from our terror of death and its absolute loneliness.

These two kinds of Art, actually divide People in two different kinds of human beings. Those that create and sustain societies for the sole reason of safety and comfort. And those that use their life to explore with their own body, mind and soul the inner windings of what 'be', 'have', 'am' might be and how they function and how they create perception, experience and life.

truth lost in the process

Is traditional way of life connected with meaning and life only through responsibility, through the burden of desires, through the instinct of becoming apart of the norm? Does it have a deeper meaning? A connection with the soul or is just fake? A fake violently painted in righteousness.
I find so many arguments that proves me it is Fake.
But something tells me there is something there original truthful but lost in the process.

I am so afraid knowing that so easy one can create self sustainable worlds. Disconnected from the deep, from the soul, from the breath. From the magic.

#BEINGS - trailer



#Beings - stills from the movie





Finish shooting #Beings



We finished shooting #Beings, it was an amazing extreme experience, every day on the verge of not making it at all. The people involved are magical people, every day of our almost 12 day of shooting I was amazed by their love and support of this project. Every day we had amazing luck and miracles wthouth which this project wouldn't have been possible.
It seems that the miracle of the film poured outside into the world transforming it so that we can walk through.
Catalin Jugravu, Andeea Furrer, Doro Hohn, Elder Roche, Mario Janad, Jehona Jahaj, Piotr, Emma, Ralf, Ofir, Loni, and this amazing surreal place called Berlin, are all alchemical elements in creating #Beings.

From he beginning I wanted to be a magical film, and I tried not to just make it. But to find the place and time and people for it to fly. To break through the sky into another kind of reality. Outside reality. And it did. This film project proves that magic is all around us. And that we live in a continuous miracle. And that all we have to do is to search for it. Is not reason, not logic, but miracle. Amazing all inspiring surprising and ecstatic miracle.

This is my second film and the second time all this crazy amazing things connect and happen and wake us up and bring to us the bewildering fabric of reality.

Vietati - graphic story


This is the first and only page out of the Graphic Story called BEINGS (Vietati). An abandoned project started in 2013.